Confessions of an Art Student by J S Gray

Author:J S Gray [Gray, J S]
Language: eng
Format: epub, azw3
Published: 2020-04-13T04:00:00+00:00

Getting On With It

Although I loathed Flick and Cassie for what they’d done, and how they must have taken so much pleasure from it, in honesty they’d done me a favour. Not only did I once and for all have first-hand evidence of their wickedness, but it forced me to face up to myself. I wondered how Andrew would address the situation with them, if at all. I certainly wasn’t going to make him choose between me and them, but it would be nice for him to at least defend me.

I knew my parents would be fine with me seeing Andrew, but it was the act of telling them that was always going to be awkward. Thinking of those words even now make me shudder. I wasn’t ashamed about my feelings for him, but saying it out aloud was the hard part. I still didn’t even know what letter of the LGBT acronym I was. I might now be waving the rainbow flag, but I had a long way to go to know who I was. Understandably I was shy to talk to my parents about this. I definitely didn’t want to open that can of worms with Andrew. We were together and that’s what mattered, not the labels.

He had whispered that he loved me the first time he made love to me, but was that more of an in-the-moment gesture, rather than a declaration of his undying feelings? I knew exactly how I felt about him, but hadn’t told him yet. I still hadn’t fucked him yet either. Things were going so well between us; we’d got into a comfortable rhythm that I was happy with. Not that I didn’t want to because I really did. It’s just that he was usually in control, and I figured he liked it that way. With the way our relationship had evolved from drunken fumbling, we’d bypassed what I assumed were the usual conversations about preference and positions, and now it felt a little too late. Although we weren’t shy in exploring one another, or trying new things out, neither of us were particularly comfortable with talking about it to each other. I wanted to fuck him, and I knew that it would be perfect when I did... When the time was right.

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